Maybe an epiphany?

I spent most of this week on the couch due to what I thought was the flu and turned out to be  a really bad UTI.   I have never been so miserable in my life.  I missed 3 days of work.  3 days, at home with no human contact and barely any human interaction.

Due to this illness, I was forced to be by myself.  At one point on day 2, I was shedding tears because I was in pain and I was alone and I couldn’t find any relief.

I have spent a lot of my time trying not to be alone and here I was sick, and all alone.  I didn’t even have anyone to text to bring  me food.

Being forced to be with just myself was a good thing.  I decided that a few of the guys I am texting, I shouldn’t be and couldn’t care less if i stopped.   I realized that the “I have to find a man” is not doing anything for me.  I am going to go to more of my meet ups.   Hang out with friends, enjoy time with myself  and be a better person.

I don’t know if it was an epiphany or just mid-grade fever messing with my head.

It is Friday night at 9:30 pm. I just ate and watched Grey’s Anatomy.  Earlier I helped a friend go get a used car and bring it back to my place till he can get tags for it.   Had I wanted to hang out with a guy (other than my friend)  I could have.   I chose not to.   I am enjoying my time.   I am enjoying feeling better than I have in days.   I am being me.

Amazing things happen when you get time to sit back and look at stuff.   Also, when you amaze yourself at how strong you actually are.

I am progressing. I am coming along, sometimes slowly, but moving forward.

Hugs!