In April of this year, I moved out of the house I had lived in for about 14 years. I left the man that I had been with for 16 years. The best friend I ever had. A loving and caring man. I fell out of love, but still loved him as an important part of my life and father of my children. In June, my divorce/dissolution was final. It was pretty easy as divorces go. It was quick.
When people found out about the divorce they don’t understand. “You guys always seemed so happy.” My grandma actually thought there was abuse. No, we lost the passion and in love feeling. I fell out of love.
Now, I am alone. I have my kids 45% of the time. I work full time. I was working a part time job. It ended. I have very few friends and I certainly don’t like to bother them with my issues. I don’t like asking for help or company.
But I am soooooo lonely. How can i be lonely after only a few months and some sexual encounters? Well, I have actually been lonely for about 2 years. I felt so alone in the last year and a half of my marriage. Now I am still lonely.
Online dating is horrible. Most of the guys I talk to are just looking for sex no matter how hard they try to convince you that they want more. On top of all of my issues, my ex had a girlfriend. The guy that told me he was done with this for a while has a female the he spends time with. that he lets around my kids. That are now Facebook official.
Fark!!
Is this my punishment for falling out of love and hitting a few bumps at the end?
I have a good friend that is a guy and is happily married. I love hearing how he feels about her. Like a movie without the fiction part. He told me it is easy for a guy to find a good female. It is hard for a female to find a good guy. Sigh.
I am a good looking, funny, smart, easy going, fun loving, awesome woman. All I want is to find someone similar but in male form. Tall with dark hair and light eyes is a bonus!!!
I need to start writing more often. This helps!!
Hugs all!!!
Beer, Hugs and Ice Cream 
I totally understand what you’re going through, I myself whenever am lonely I start wrting( which seems to happen a lot lately) thank God am filling this hole he left with something effective and worthwhile. I guess time wil heal, as it did to my other disaster and embaresseemnt that I though I’ll never get over them, but am okay about them now so am hoping this one as well will fade. My secret of course is having new adventures, new faces, it helps A LOT, I’m from Tunisia, I went to Budapest for a while, very exotic city considering to where I come from, it changed me drastically, I got over my past and now am having new life challenges (am struggeling yes, but at least am moving forward 🙂 ) you should really consider travelling, maybe taking a avacation in a new place, totally dissimilar place to your ‘entourage’ and meeting people from different backgrounds, religions, languages, ethnicities, it shows you that life has bigger sides than that drak corner you’re stuck in. It shows you that happiness can be found in places you never heard of before, never consider as a possible path you may take. Adventure my friend is the key of moving on and moving forward 😉